I’m curious how many times people who love each other actually say the words, “I love you” to their partner. I wonder if it even matters. I think it does. I like saying it and so does Lili. We probably say it to each other in some form or the other (English and Spanish) several times a day. I believe it makes a big difference.
It’s hard to get mad at someone after you just said I love you.
It’s hard to stay mad at someone after you just said I love you.
It’s just nice to hear and know someone loves you.
It takes 2 seconds but can really lift your mood.
You really do feel close to someone by saying it daily.
Lili, being South American is a pretty affectionate, animated, emotional (good and bad) person by default. It’s wired in her DNA. Not so much on my side. Though I’ve become much more that way having spent so much time with her and I like it.
I’m not saying you have to be that way and say “I love you” tens times a day to have a happy, fulfilling relationship, though I’d wager if you both did (and meant it) you sure as hell would increase your chances a ton. That’s my take at least.
(The flipside: As John Gottman, the marriage guru states – resentment is the biggest culprit in destroying a relationship. And the two most negative words you can hurl at your partner are “Always” and “Never”. I’m working on eradicating them from my lexicon. It’s challenging as they are easy to default to when upset).