The Quiet

Lili and Bean are away in Miami.

I’ve got Niko, but at 15 months and a chill dude (except when he’s hungry) it’s eerily quiet in the apartment. Especially after I put him down after 8pm and like now in the morning when he’s back asleep (he did wake up at 5am for a bottle).

When you’re heads down “parenting” you forget about the quiet. In a small apartment with a 3 and 1 year old and two adults there is always something going on. Noises and destruction of all kinds. But, right now there is none of that and in a weird way it’s completely disorienting. I can’t turn off that feeling that I need to be doing something or putting out a fire right now. I almost made Bean’s lunch for school yesterday. AFTER she left for the airport.

The hardest part about parenting for me is the mental strain. The physical part is cake. I enjoy being there for my kids. But, over time mentally I start to break down. I don’t always fully engage with them. To put it simply I need a little break and some serious me time.

The main reason I didn’t go to Miami is because I have too much work right now. And taking Emma and Niko would have been too much for Lili to travel with alone. I love Bean to death. Seriously, I love that kid way too much. But, she also leans on me far more than she leans on her mom and that tires me out. I won’t lie the break is nice. And it sure is quiet around here.

PS: Once you have a second kid and you go back to only having to “handle” one kid you forget how ridiculously easy that really is. When you’re a first time parent that’s all lost on you. Have a second and you realize how good you had it. 😉

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